If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
