whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
