never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize