What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
