I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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