I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
