Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
