I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize