I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
