But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
