the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize