You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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