Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize