It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
