PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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