I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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