Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
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Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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