is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
