You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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