I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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