He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
