Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
