so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
