the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
