Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
