I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
