once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
