Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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