we have officially lost it.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I love having hate sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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