we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
