I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So squirting runs in the family.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
