You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Your penis caused this!
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