I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Jerry, you need to find god
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
