Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
