I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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