It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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