i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
