Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
