That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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