I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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