home. puking in laundry basket.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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