Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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