Jerry, you need to find god
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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