CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
