Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
