If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
