brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
