I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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