There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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