i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
