Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
