this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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