Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
