He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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