Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
