I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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