He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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