Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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