you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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