Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
