just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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