I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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