took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
