How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I understand Curling. That high.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
