your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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