my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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